When reading this on Twitter I immediately thought of how living so closely with someone, waking up to them next to you when your breath does not carry the aroma you would like to hit your nose, never mind that of another, their seeing you sick and the reverse, and their witnessing your various responses to life’s trials can and does reveal your inner core, the essence of your personality.
Yes, love by itself and unfettered by the commitment of marriage, “…for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…and unto death…” holds less beatific moments like those captured on magazine covers and between their pages while advertising the various accoutrements you are urged to purchase than the actual day-to-day movements all married couples move through.
And yet the experience of having someone who has pledged her or his love, to remain with you unto the finality of this life, and their seeing all of you, particularly those lesser known parts that all of us are reticent to show anyone or even silently acknowledge within ourselves can prove to be most humbling and blessed experience.
With all the divorces taking place in American society I am growing more convinced that we lack not so much the ability to love.
Rather, we as American individuals who are bred from birth on the corn and grain of staunch independence, and urged if not, warned of the dangers that accompany becoming dependent on another, have grown fearful of how the love of another might transform us.
Love is the most power act any of us can commit.
Receiving and imbibing the adoration and respect of another who sincerely cares for us touches our hearts and souls in places of which we often have no awareness.
Yes, love is a long dream, to which marriage in all is finery and practical demands forces us awaken.
But it is in receiving the gift of love given by and in marriage that we truly arise and blossom into the person fate asks.
Ingesting the love of our spouse many times uncovers the reality of how little others we have known prior to our wife or husband never truly understood or accepted us as we are and without condition.
That someone, who lacks blood relationship with us, could hold us in such high regard, can deliver a realization of what we have lacked unto this point.
An emotional pain of what we have endured almost always accompanies this realization.
Only when we are grateful for the presence of this person in our lives, their undying love and our consciousness of what they so freely give can epiphany follow.
Epiphany, like the climax of a wonderful and engaging story, is as much about decision making, as it is the awareness that spawned and fueled the choice for which we opt.
Too often in the midst of this pain of seeing what we have lacked for so long, and wondering how we survived, individuals in our culture choose to leave the love that has torn down the defenses behind which we have lived in an effort to survive.
Now with no need of these walls that separate us from each other and ourselves, we stand as if babes in the woods, and now exposed for the fragile human beings we all are.
Mother Teresa said that, “All human beings crave love.”
This much is true.
And yet the question facing many in our culture is and remains, “Can you undergo the transformation love engenders when given?”
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