Of A Jeep Wranger, Corporal Punishment and Compassion …

The weekend following the accident my daughter would tell me of how on his arrival, the woman’s husband offered to and helped my daughter move the boxes of books, copies of my novels, from the back of my SUV, its back window blown out by the impact of the crash, into the trunk of my daughter’s car.

The woman, by then had


Of The Inner Child, Mothers and Compassion …

Knowing more about my mother and understanding her are two different things.

I wish to have known more about my mother. But that will not happen.

She died of gall bladder cancer nearly two decades ago.

Yet as a mother of three daughters I feel that I have come to understand her.

It is difficult


Of Jonathon Franzen, Loneliness, and The Still Point of Attention …

It requires skill to craft tantalizing titles, bylines, etc. that coaxes readers, even those who receive your blogs as I do those written by The Mommy Psychologist
to actually stop what we are doing and take in the blogger’s words.

That what we read leaves us thinking, and pondering the subject of their website and blogs, which for The Mommy Psychologist is the whole gambit of parenting in the 21st century, evidences grasp of an art.

Readers can be grateful when the very topic of a blogger’s discussion plunges


Of Mothers, Sons and Actions that Leave Us Eternally Changed…

Grace…., a photo by Acoustic Soul on Flickr. It always happens this way. A shooting takes place in our nation. A person and/or others are killed while going about their day. Voices cry out, those of the bereaved family members and others in shock and anger. Stories of the incident make a virulent trek across […]


Of Alice Miller, Amy Chua, and Parenting as a Way of Growth and Transformation…

A beneficiary of the Civil Rights Era, I entered integration in third grade carrying with me the missive delivered to many middle-class African-American children around the country: “Integration [of schools] offers an opportunity to work even harder. You may sit next to white students, but you will need to prove yourself. You will need to work hard and be better at all that you do.”

While my mother and father loathed slothfulness and laziness, this missive added pressure to an already weighty responsibility.

The result has been that I, like many African-Americans of my age and social class are and continue to be over achievers.

The concept of always giving your


Of Eldest Daughters, Mothers and Healing…

When two years ago, our eldest daughter asked to moved back home I was thrilled.

Having just earned a graduate degree and about to begin law school she expressed the desire to return to a more laid back lifestyle than she had experienced when a coed and then graduate student living in the city.

My excitement at having our first born home came not simply from 0ur enjoyment of having her around to share and do activities with, but with the additional idea that she truly liked being with her father and most specifically me, her mother.

The relationship I shared with my mother, now nearly 16 years deceased,


Twitter Chat: “Of Death, Mortality and The Steam of Compassion…”

Should Huma Abedin forgive her husband, US Representative Anthony Weiner?

For further discussion join me for a Twitter Chat, this Thursday, June 16th, 2011 @ 5pm PDT/6pm MT/7pm CDT/8pm EDT.



Last Friday, I heard a young woman say, “She [Huma] should abort the child she is carrying by Weiner.”

Should Huma do this I could not condemn her.

I cannot say what a person should are should not do regarding the betrayal a loved one or friend exacts upon him or her.

And yet our ability to move beyond experiences of hurt and emotional injury inflicted by friends, family and even acquaintances whom we hardly know establishes the foundation upon which we will build our healing.

And yet there is the anger.

Anger indicates a transgression of our boundaries, both physical and particularly emotional.

Beneath anger always lies hurt.

The steam of compassion can only rise from the flames of anger.

And what of forgiveness?


What guides your steps in dealing with betrayal, infidelity, and the injurious actions of others, most particularly of family and friends–those whom you love?

What can you live with regarding your actions towards those who have hurt you?

How do you want to die?

What must you do to achieve your desires for transitioning from this life into what lies beyond?

For further discussion join me for a Twitter Chat, this Thursday, June 16th, 2011 @ 5pm PDT/6pm MT/7pm CDT/8pm EDT.



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