living

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Of SUV’s, Omnipotence and Depression …

Something shifted inside me the day of the car accident, when the driver of the Jeep SUV slammed into the back of my SUV. Being hit from behind unearthed, exhumed all my fears of being caught off guard, being ambushed.

That’s what it felt like each time my mother criticized me and/or as a result of the anger and rage she experienced either in response to me and my actions of events out in the world, physically punished me.

As a child you believe that your

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by earthly magic--13322139325_72b3fb9886_o

Of Ambivalence, Loss, and What Seemed Retribution …

My greatest fear as my mother’s daughter was not that I would die, but rather that I would live.

It takes strength to live, courage to wake up each day and face someone that you are so unsure of.

You do not know whether they love you, and yet they say they do.

This is the ambiguity that leads to the

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Of Riding Ellipticals, Counting Minutes, and The Challenge of Parenting …

Like the teacher in my psychology program who said that the hardest thing about parenting was the time required, I find that I never have enough.

Mothering three daughters, seeing to my husband, or rather attending our marriage, along with my work as a psychotherapist, and writing novels proves daunting.

I count minutes in much the same way that I count calories.

Frustration continually arises as I reprimand myself for lack of efficiency.

“I’m working as hard as I can,” I say to myself.


But am I working smarter?

I do not know.

Personal experience has

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Of Mothers, Daughters and Cracking Open the Pomegranate…

A fruit of both the body and the soul, the spirit and heart, the pomegranate casts a net long and wide, deep and with breadth stretching into those areas of life perceived not with the eyes but with inner knowing that comes with age and experience.

The relationship between mothers and daughters is as old as humankind and time.

What could Persephone have been thinking when

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Of Mothers, Daughters and Pomegranate Seeds…

The Greek myth of Persephone centers on the relationship between Persephone and her mother, Demeter.

Demeter loved her daughter, Persephone very much. 

The story goes that the Greek God, Apollo, fathered Persephone by Demeter, Apollo’s sister.

When Persephone goes missing Demeter, quite distraught, searches every hill and valley to find her daughter and only child.

One can only imagine the multitude of emotions that flowed through Demeter.

The goddess of harvest and motherhood, marriage and the crone stage of female wisdom that comes with aging, Demeter led a life of holding her own amid her brothers Apollo (Zeus), Poseidon (Neptune), and Hades (Pluto).

Both Demeter and her daughter, Persephone, stand at the center of the Eleusinian Mysteries.

Initiation into the cult of Demeter and Persephone was said to prepare the participant to receive goodness and bounty in the afterlife that followed death.

Other beliefs held that those who underwent initiation would

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Yellow Rose with Drop Closer Crop

Of Mothers, Daughters and The Quality of Mirroring…

Moments after a child exits the women, the obstetrician, or midwife cuts the umbilical cord linking mother to child.

Male children enter a journey of maturation into adulthood that ideally includes a father, or male guiding and supporting them.

As with all children she ushers into life, the mother of a female infant lays the baby upon her chest, nestles and feeds her, but unlike with sons, the mother serves as her daughter’s guide from birth into womanhood.

Who better than a man to teach and nurture a boy into manhood?

Likewise, none but women can best assist a girl in navigating the wilds of growing into a wise, compassionate, and prudent woman.

And yet, theory and reality, as with many life dimensions, often diverge.

That for which we hope often gives way to the probabilities based upon the facts of our present reality.

Many women and mothers have raised sons into excellent and wonderful men.

Likewise many men have nurtured daughters into women any parent or person would be proud to call daughter.

And yet one fact remains.

The umbilical cord attaching mother to daughter,

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Evening Primrose in Rain by birdyboo

Of Women, Daughters, and The Ability to Bear Children…

A major factor that distinguishes women from men is that women possess the ability to bear children.

Whether a woman chooses to exercise her ability to conceive and deliver a life into this world, this capability marks her life and the purposes of all women’s life and in living,

That modern medicine has enabled females to conceive and give birth by choice, and without the physical presence of a man, the path women travel stands farther than ever from the one males trod in bringing direction and attaching meaning to our living.

While some would have us believe differently, female human beings are neither

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