My mother had no tolerance for my crying.
“If anyone looks at Anjuelle, she cries,” was how she described me.
She wanted to instill in me a mental toughness–what she had.
I was not going for it.
And so I cried.
In that a memoir, and the structure of any narrative, consists of scenes, I must write various scenes of my life, those that most depict my suffering for which I offer forgiveness and hold compassion for my mother.
This is hard. Not simply because I am writing of my mother, and about myself. The challenge lies in my lack of certainty, the ambiguity of my mother’s actions, and thus my ambivalence.
We’re not encouraged to say, “I’m sorry,” in America, even when we are wrong, have made a mistake and our mistake has injured another, and or even ourselves.
I’m always taken with how much we often count the need to forgive ourselves for past mistakes when discussing those for whom we would do well to hold compassion.
It’s as if American societal beliefs hold to an erroneous myth that life can be somehow lived in a clear and uninterrupted straight line, that we can avoid any and all detours, those erected by others and those we might take should events become too complicated.
From where did we get this belief, never mind how faulty?
The degree to which we claim to be a progressive society
Writing for me is a catharsis. It is a means to channel the pent-up anger, frustration, humiliation and shame, which I have endured for 19 years. The book which I am writing, “This Far by Faith: Racism, Misogyny, Police Brutality, Corruption and the Mafia,” is a testament to the strength of women everywhere who are […]
HEAVEN, a novel (& music CD) by Kimberly Cain 2010
Heaven is a novel about the nature of God as seen through the eyes of an exotic dancer.
It is a story of healing the perceived separation between the sacred & the sexual self.
The modern-day Eve is intent on questioning accepted religious norms and presenting her unique ideas about humanity’s relationship to the Divine.
What if the mythical Serpent was really a savior, inviting humanity to awaken from a mindless existence?
What if Eve was a heroine, courageous enough to buck the system and take the Serpent up on his offer to bust out of the cage?
Eve discovers her power to discern truth from falsehood at the hands of her religiously abusive foster family.
She chooses to release her light into a dark world by combining her love for music and dance, stripping naked as a symbol of fearlessly unmasking her true Self.
Her passion for challenging society’s labels as representations of “truth” brings controversial and dangerous repercussions from club patrons, cops, and religious zealots.