Author and poet, David Mura, says that once we uncover why we are writing, our job becomes easier. I liken his question not so much to answering the why of how I have come to the writing life, rather, what story am I telling.
The Amherst Writing Method subscribes to the belief that everything we write, whether fiction or not, is autobiographic. Our own, the writer’s life, is the most potent fodder and from where we pull our stories.
My stories center on married couples, wives and husbands trying to work out life’s problems, and keep their marriage in tact. The men, though imperfect and flawed, are loving and committed to their wives. The women are also devoted to their husbands. Yet there is usually a second man in the picture, not a love. He is more like a spiritual guide to the wife.
For years I wondered about this dynamic. It makes for great writing in that my plots start out with a built-in triangle. Yet it troubled me. Was their a side of me that longed to be free of my marriage? Many men have nurtured my artistic interests. And my husband is quite loving and patient. As a psychotherapist I wanted to know what my writing said about me.
Jane Austen wrote the same plot, though not obvious. And she was a great writer.
Then I began to think of my childhood. While I was close to my father, my mother and her mother greatly influenced me. While my relationship with my mother was often strained and I was unsure of her love, that was not the case with my maternal grandmother. Her love was unconditional and ever present.
I felt safest in all ways when with her and inside her home. During my adolescent years it became a haven to which I could run and seek refuge from a mother who simply didn’t understand me at a time when I was trying to uncover my identity.
This is the dynamic that occurs in my stories. The husbands of my female protagonists are very possessive of their wives. They are not abusive. They have simply given themselves entirely and do not want to be hurt.
The wives can at times be aloof and withdrawing, not always honest with themselves and others.They too are afraid of hurting. Their relationship with their mothers is usually strained.
In many ways I am re-writing the story of my, my mother and my grandmother. For this reason I always know the endings to my stories and novels. The question is discovering the path to wholeness, my path as I write my stories.
What is your story?
Is there a relationship you are trying to heal or that has come full circle and so your stories chronicle that?