Writer, Amy Glass, says “I Look Down on Young Women With Husband and Kids, and I’m Not Sorry.” Statments in the comment section underneath her article range from I Feel Sorry for Amy Glass ... to I Look Down on People Like Amy Glass and … .
When I first saw the title I could not believe my eyes.
Someone was finally saying what we have been taught as Americans and that most of us truly believe.
As a mother of three daughters, ages 26 yrs, 21 yrs. and 14 yrs., and who for the last fourteen years has been a stay-at-home mom, I find Amy Glass’s statement honest and true, and I thank her for finally saying what even I have struggled against as wife and mother who have made my prime task that of taking care of my family.
Not until our eldest requested to move back home following graduate school and about to enter law school, did I realize not only what I had accomplished, but how hard it is to nurture children into adults that assist society in being a good and safe place for themselves and others, but how so few accomplish this.
If choosing marriage and to have children is the path of least resistance, keeping those children safe, holding your marriage in tact and raising your children into product members of society is not.
The statistics on marriage, divorce and children who live in a two parent home in America are deplorable. A child in Europe born into a home of co-habitating parents has a greater chance of reaching adulthood with both parents still together than a child born in America to a married couple.
Getting married and having children are easy, mothering those children and working with a partner for one, two, three, and four decades to keep that relationship together and each of you loving the other is a task that American schools and society do not come close to equipping us with skills or desires to accomplish.
Going backpacking across Asia, starting a firm or business are all laudable achievements.
And I for one, am glad that we as women now have the firm right to choose what lifestyle we want to live, or how we might blend it if we so choose.
The American notion that anyone can live so independently that they take care of their own self is very misleading.
Ask anyone whose reached the age of 60.
I’m 53 years old and I need my children.
The idea of living alone frightens me.
The title of Amy Glass’ article evidences the truth in the words of of Barbara Streisand’s song,”People who need people are the luckiest people …
People who know what they need to endure and thrive along the journey of life are like traveler’s who know what to pack so they can reach their destination with the presence of mind to know what they have achieved and can enjoy the sights on arriving.
I don’t know where Amy Glass is headed in this life.
I just hope when she arrives she’ll be able to enjoy it, and since that almost always involves sharing, I hope others with be there with her.
I know I’m a little late but my laptop is very temperamental. That’s a shame that single childless women must feel that they are in competition with women who are married with children. It’s a choice. We’re not living in certain countries where women are force to marry and have kids. I know I made a choice at a young age not to marry or have kids. Good thing too since I suck at relationships. If you know that you can’t maintain a relationship long term it’s best not to bring little people into your drama.
Funny thing is that my parents never encouraged me to get married or have children. They probably knew I did not have the personality to sustain marriage or children and they were right.
I’ve always been a Free Spirit who loves to come and go as shes pleases and I don’t like being told what to do or when to do it. Marriage would have been a form of bondage. When I think about all I’ve been able to accomplish as a Single woman, though at times I wish I had a companion in my heart I know it would have not been possible if I had married. I earned my college degree at age 43, I’ve traveled all over the United States, I love my cats, can get up and write in the middle of the night, go out and take extensive photos, basically I don’t have to answer to anyone. For me that is Freedom. For other women they like the security of marriage. Most women have a great maternal instinct. That is their calling. It was never mine. The only calling I hear is that of the open road.
Like most fractured families I’ve had to care for the children of my drug addict cousin. I did find fulfillment in that since at the time I was in my 40s, had a good job and it was kind of like being a kid again and having somebody to play with. Unfortunately her kids patterned themselves after her and two wound up as guests of the criminal justice system. The girl is “In the Life.” I guess DNA is stronger than any other external influences. But they are adults now and hopefully one day they will get their lives on track.
Of course I do take care of my brother Stephen who has Autism but he lives in a group home and most of his day to day care falls on his caregivers. We are very close and my brother is my best friend and partner in crime. Stephen is an amazing person.
However as I moved towards age 55 on Feb. 27th I enjoy more and more being a Solitary. I celebrate the joys of my married friends when their kids graduate college, marry and have kids of their own. Most of my friends are now grandparents. No I don’t envy them. Each of us has a path laid out for us. All we do is follow what is set before us. We must respect our individual journeys.
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