We’re not encouraged to say, “I’m sorry,” in America, even when we are wrong, have made a mistake and our mistake has injured another, and or even ourselves.
I’m always taken with how much we often count the need to forgive ourselves for past mistakes when discussing those for whom we would do well to hold compassion.
It’s as if American societal beliefs hold to an erroneous myth that life can be somehow lived in a clear and uninterrupted straight line, that we can avoid any and all detours, those erected by others and those we might take should events become too complicated.
From where did we get this belief, never mind how faulty?
The degree to which we claim to be a progressive society remains to be evidenced in light of many unspoken declarations similar to these that guide and shape the patterns of our living and thinking, the goals we set for ourselves, and the disappointment we experience when coming short.
“I’m sorry.”
I says, I am human, I did a wrong for which I feel badly. Please forgive me. I feel badly that I hurt or injured you. This is not what I intended.
The American mystic and spiritual philosopher, Howard Thurman, encouraged us to examine not simply the quality of our actions, but also the integrity of the intent that shapes our behavior.
I wonder, when we speak of the intent of a matter, the intent of someone’s actions, do we always know about which we are talking.
What is the integrity of our intent when speaking of the true purpose behind what we are doing, thinking, saying?
Examination of this requires we look more closely, bring attention and awareness to precognition, that or those moments before a thought becomes a though or idea, the split second prior to our recognition of that which we hold dear, and that when fully formed in our heads effects our hearts.
Being a mother, taking seriously my job in nurturing our daughters has forced me to slow down and bring awareness to not only what I say, but what I do and–the integrity of the intent of all my behaviors.
I have to look at myself before observing my children.
Likewise watching our children has forced me in all integrity and to avoid hypocrisy, to examine myself.
“I am sorry.” I have looked at myself, what I did, and I am ashamed of my behavior. It is not what I set out to do. I ask your forgiveness. Share with me your compassion.
The degree to which we can give this to others reflects the ability to demonstrate this to ourselves.
And vice versus.
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