Now a mother of three daughters, a licensed psychotherapist and an author, I still lean back in awe at how much emphasis individuals of certain cultures, African-American included, place upon the success of our children.
Some weekends ago I attended the Senior Recognition Ceremony held each year by hundreds of Jack-n-Jill Chapters across the country, honoring the children of mother-members who having and preparing to graduate high school will in less than three months, leave for college.
Conversations during the meal, as usual, included discussions of children graduated in years past and how they are faring.
Our eldest, about to become a second year law student just received admittance to intern next summer (2013) with a British MP, an opportunity allowed her not simply due to her work in law school, but also resulting in part from having earned a MA in International Studies during which time she interned at the European Parliament.
Our middle, having just completed her freshman year at college, is while taking driving lessons, trying to figure out what she wants to study abroad during that time.
Both girls abroad next summer can look out for each other.
Our youngest, thirteen years old and set to enter eighth grade two months from now in August has worked hard the last two years to maintain practical and healthy balance between extracurricular activities in which she participated while holding focus on her academics, all done in her effort to build a resumeโ that she will present when applying to high school this fall.
Applications go live in October 2012 on the websites of the schools to which she would like to gain entrance.
And if that is not enough, she is already considering how this CV will provide the raw data for the larger one she will focus on embellishing during her high school years and towards getting accepted to the college(s) she desires to attend.
A thirteen-year-old working on her CV.
It sounds crazy.
This is what our society has come to.
And yet I wonder about my role.
How much to I contribute to this frenzy of proving oneโs self and their abilities?
What does this say about me as a person?
Am I that different from Amy Chua?
Less accomplished, and perhaps more covert, but no less intense.
Maybe I and my cohorts are but west coast California versions of the thesis by which she lives?
Honor your parents, work hard, seek to do your best in all things. This is your religion.
A member also of Mocha Moms, I attended our national convention last July 2011 where our keynote speaker was none other than Amy Chua.
Yes, I am an overachiever.
I confess.
As if no one knew. LOL
But is the joke really on me?
Does this stance on life ultimately help, or hinder my child?
I can only refer to our youngest when asking this question.
The dye has been cast for our two older daughters.
They have stepped upon their paths towards following their passion and achieving their dreams, proving themselves while learning and revealing what they are made of.
So much has been written this last year of Tiger Moms.
My mother was a Tiger Mom.
Or perhaps I should rephrase it as a Mother Lioness, or Leopard Mom or Cheetah Mom in that we are African-American.
And in this tradition, because of and in spite of all she did, I am the newly evolved, second generation cat mother, pouncing on every opportunity for our daughters to excel.
But what of the our fiercely feline daughters, the offspring of our pawing, grabbing and reaching for the best, the highest, the most developed and ambitious aspects of our hopes and wishes.
And what of the fact that when we or someone utters the words Tiger Mama it almost always involves a mother and her daughter?
Are you a Tiger Mom?
Cheetah Mama?
A fierce feline mother of great prowess?
If so, what is your story?
What hopes and dreams do you hold for your daughters and/or sons?
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