Articles and Essays

on relationships

Of Alzheimer’s, Love and Forgetting What Makes Us Human…

A woman asking for moral guidance for a friend whose wife has Alzheimers…

This is the woman who recently called the 700 Club, hosted by Pat Roberston, a husband for 57 years to his wife, Adelia.

“He says, he should be allowed to see other people because his wife as he knows her is gone…” the woman said of her friend.

To the surprise of many, Roberston, an ordained Baptist Minister for 50 years advised that the man in question

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Of Motorcyclists, Native American Sayings, and Words that Travel Across Time…

If you want to practice patience, try shooting butterflies.
They are nothing, if not elusive. Beautiful and elusive.
“If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.”

On the way to school one morning this past week our youngest child noticed as a motorcycle moving past our truck and other cars then still and waiting for the light to turn green.

The motorcyclist, like many, was moving through the small space between lanes.

It was a long line of cars and the anxiety of morning rush releasing its sting.

“Can you do that?” our youngest asked.

“Yes. You can do anything you want,” I replied. “But the bigger question asks, “Is what

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Of Colombiana, Contagion, and Miracles…

“If you are interested in something, you will focus on it, and if you focus attention on anything, it is likely that you will become interested in it.
Many of the things we find interesting are not so by nature, but because we took the trouble of paying attention to them.”
— Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

I saw two movies this weekend. Contagion, for the first time, and Colombiana for the 2nd.

Viewing a movie for the second time, much like reading a book, allows the opportunity to evaluate and inspect what either makes the story work, or remain vibrant in your mind, or the memories of its plot and characters, if you can recall them, slink into the recesses of the forgotten.

I was not excited at the thought of seeing Colombiana a second time.

Yet now as I write, I realize my hesitation came not from the quality of the movie itself, but quite the opposite.

The story of a young woman, who in losing her parents to a villainous killing at the age of 9, then seeking revenge, Colombiana is clearly a character driven story.

Contagion on the other hand, involves many characters whose roles work to tell the story of not a person, but rather display the effect of

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Of Love, Dreams and Waking Up…

“Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.” BLOOM OF LOVE on Twitter

When reading this on Twitter I immediately thought of how living so closely with someone, waking up to them next to you when your breath does not carry the aroma you would like to hit your nose, never mind that of another, their seeing you sick and the reverse, and their witnessing your various responses to life’s trials can and does reveal your inner core, the essence of your personality.

Yes, love by itself and unfettered by the commitment of marriage, “…for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…and unto death…”

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Of The Military Industrial Complex, Sarah Palin, and Unconditional Love…

I recently read an article on the Huffington Post entitled, Why You’re Not Married.
The author, a TV writer, Tracy McMillan, whose credits include, Mad Men, The United States of Tara, and a memoir, I Love You and I’m Leaving You Anyway offers 6 reasons why the reader, who if unmarried and wishes to be, remains single.

Without belaboring the point of what caught my attention, let me say that reasons 2-6 constitute a repeat of what many articles assert.

And despite the, shall we say, blunt and directness of reason #1, the truth it held forced me, a wife of 29 years, to stop in gratitude after overcoming the initial shock of McMillan’s wording, or more precisely, her word.

“The problem is not men. It’s you. Sure, there are lame men out there, but

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Of Relationships, Dharma and That Mirror of Mirrors Which Sits At Our Core…

The decisive question for man is:
Is he related to something infinite or not?
That is the telling question of his life.

In the final analysis, we count for something only because of the essential we embody, and if we do not embody that, life is wasted.

In our relationships to other men, too, the crucial question is whether an element of boundlessness is expressed in the relationship.

–Carl Gustav Jung on Jung in “Memories, Dreams, Reflections” by Carl Jung

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I recently heard a podcast, Relationship Revelation, given by Deborah and Lyle Dukes on Chocolate Pages hosted by Pam Perry.

During the interview Deborah Dukes addressed the importance of relationships and how our interactions reveal not only who we are at the core and the essence of our personality, but also how we interact with God.

“You will [discover] what is inside you… [whether] you [have the capacity to] love… when relating to others. …Your relationships with others mirror your relationship with God. The way we treat other people is an indicator, is a guide, [to the nature of] our relationship how with God. [God said,] ‘It is not good for [an individual] to be alone.'”

We need others.

Man cannot live on bread alone. Nor can woman.

Much of what Deborah and Lyle discuss forms the cornerstone of Deborah’s assertions in her book,

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Of Mothers, Daughters and the Wounds That Shape Us…

Injury to the mother-daughter relationship rents a profound wound, and gives rise to serious strain between both daughters and mothers.

Does my mother love me?

Why does my daughter hate me so much?

Why doesn’t she love me? A question often asked by both daughter and mother.

And for the daughter, “I mama doesn’t love me, when who will? Or who can?”

These questions and more along with the associated feelings of worthlessness,

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