Articles and Essays

on relationships

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Of Patterns by Vogue, Seeking Perfection and The Inner Critic …

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Leaving my mother and marrying my husband did not free me of her words, nor her way of thinking and perceiving myself and the world. It, in fact. strengthened the critic within me.

Fed, clothed and nurtured by my mother and her harsh words, the inner critic, was my connection to my mother. Painful as it could be, I embraced the inner critic, not knowing what I was doing.

I was going to be the perfect wife. With my husband away much of the time for wor

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Of Pessimism, Doubt and The Need for Escape …

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I would not suggest that the entire Cherokee nation has a problem with speaking harsh words, both to others and internally. And yet that has been my experience. Growing up with my mother I did not have learn how to reprimand myself. Experience as my mother’s daughter bequeathed me a well-developed inner critic.

I have internalized all her sayings, those spoken to me and for my benefit, along with others generalizing life and others.

My bouts with depression and my predisposition to blame

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Of Gallstones, Anger and Healing Yourself …

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My mother kept emotional matters close to her chest, except when she became rageful and began hitting me and/or my brother in the guise of spanking us as a form of discipline.

I wish my mother had talked more and hit less. Now she talked a lot as it was. The words she spoke, not just to me, or my brother or father, were often very unkind.

My mother could be and was quite judgmental to everyone. Which leads me to wonder

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Of Hopes, Dreams and Wishes and The Challenge of Being My Mother’s Daughter …

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The greatest challenge of having been my mother’s daughter was trying to please her and feeling that I always failed. My mother always seemed anxious and/or sad. She was always working.

And this was after she had come home from having worked as a teacher in the nearby elementary school. She made all my dresses and the pants I wore until I graduated high school and went to college.

She planted a garden in spring and harvest the vegetable during the summer

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Of Rules, Quilts, A Coat of Many Colors, and Knowing …

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My mother was a stickler for rules. They seemed to give her a sense of safety.

I cannot say that I hate rules. I certainly do not like the way those in power misuse and bend them to punish those over whom they seek to maintain control.

I do not know that my mother misused rules. This is a comforting revelation. She was fair.

She did what she said and promised, even if the consequences she warned of involved excessive force or could be considered abusive.

I am not trying to protect my mother from the part of me that she hurt, the aspects

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Of Settling, Silent Passion and the Sacred Canyon of Our Hearts …

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So many women, and men, have been bred by our parents to accept what is given us. “Don’t be greedy. Take what life gives you. Don’t be so uppity. Give thanks, and be happy.”

I find it quite intriguing that the people who so often recite these mantras never do what they advocate. Moreover they do not appear to be content with their lives.

As mothers, and of daughters we must remain vigilant that we do not overtly and covertly, in speech and in silence, urge our daughters to settle.

Much is said about women making sure we do not

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