Relationships – Page 18 – Anjuelle Floyd

Of Health, Well-Being and A Mother’s Love…

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A new study, Mother’s Love Can Prevent Illness in Middle Age, at Brandeis University now suggests that, “…a mother’s love expressed each day keeps the doctor way, most particularly in mid-life.”

When examining children from poverty-stricken situations, researchers learned, and not too surprisingly, that these children grow up to become adults who suffer from numerous chronic illnesses. And yet there are those children who, despite coming from poor backgrounds, experience good physical health and mental well-being.

Why?

Bucking what I would call

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Of Actions, Integrity and Trusting Our Choices…

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In stating, “…mothers and daughters cannot serve as best friends to the other…,” Linda Perlman Gordon and Susan Morris Shaffer add in an excerpt from Too Close for Comfort: Questioning the Intimacy of Today’s New Mother-Daughter Relationship , that the …basic question… a mother must answer is: “…Do you trust your daughter to be an independent and self-sufficient woman? Can you support her in making choices and doing things differently from how you would do them?”

The answer a mother offers lies within her ability or inability to trust

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Of Breaths, Challenges and Handing Over the Reins…

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“…[M]others and daughters can have a close bond, but should never take it to the level of being best friends…” say Susan Morris Shaffer and Linda Perlman Gordon, co-authors of Too Close for Comfort: Questioning the Intimacy of Today’s New Mother-Daughter Relationship.

“A best friend is different than a mother-daughter relationship,” says Shaffer in her interview

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Of Memoir, Climax, and “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”…

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Writing teacher and mentor, Clive Matson, always said that if a writer found her or himself wanting and/or needing to explain her or his story that the reader might gain the author’s intended message, the author needed to revise their story further.

Completing a manuscript requires more than simply writing the story, editing and revising it for clarity regarding grammar and typos, or even for development of plot.

Within each story or novel lives the narrative of that story, and how it came into being.

The author’s understanding and exploration of this process informs

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Of Alice Miller, Amy Chua, and Parenting as a Way of Growth and Transformation…

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A beneficiary of the Civil Rights Era, I entered integration in third grade carrying with me the missive delivered to many middle-class African-American children around the country: “Integration [of schools] offers an opportunity to work even harder. You may sit next to white students, but you will need to prove yourself. You will need to work hard and be better at all that you do.”

While my mother and father loathed slothfulness and laziness, this missive added pressure to an already weighty responsibility.

The result has been that I, like many African-Americans of my age and social class are and continue to be over achievers.

The concept of always giving your

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Of Eldest Daughters, Mothers and Healing…

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When two years ago, our eldest daughter asked to moved back home I was thrilled.

Having just earned a graduate degree and about to begin law school she expressed the desire to return to a more laid back lifestyle than she had experienced when a coed and then graduate student living in the city.

My excitement at having our first born home came not simply from 0ur enjoyment of having her around to share and do activities with, but with the additional idea that she truly liked being with her father and most specifically me, her mother.

The relationship I shared with my mother, now nearly 16 years deceased,

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Of Proximity, Self–Esteem and the Ability to Stand Separate and Distinct…

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Vanencia Jaquia Lynch, an undergraduate student majoring in psychology at Xavier University, New Orleans, Louisiana, demonstrates a significant relationship between the psychological aspects of illusory superiority and attachment.

Ms. Lynch discovered this connection in a study she conducted, the details of which she discusses in “Mother-Daughter Relationships in Adulthood: Attachment, Self-Esteem and Illusory Superiority.” (XULA neXUS, Xavier University of Louisiana, Undergraduate Research Journal, Volume 9, Issue 1)

Lynch defines illusory superiority as

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