daughters

Of Daughters, Mothering, and The Willingness to Turn Inward…

One of the most difficult aspects of being a mother is the requirement of self-reflectiveness.

As mothers we need to be able to look back upon ourselves, most particularly our time as children, and recall the difficulties and fears we faced in order to remain connected with our children.

Our willingness to do this is most particularly effective in nurturing our daughters.

“[D]aughters can model a great deal from a mother who is self-aware herself,” says Juanita Johnson in, Know Thyself First(Part 6 of Our Mothers, Ourselves: Mother-Daughter Relationships)

I address this at length in the blog post, Of Daughters, Actions and Self-Awareness.

While sons are

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Of Mothers, Daughters and The Struggle to Live…

Since learning of the death of Whitney’s Houston death, Saturday, February 11th, 2012, I held little patience with those who expressed sincere shock and amazement that she no longer lived with us in the world of life on planet earth.

Even as our elder daughter posted comments on Facebook offering condolences I cautioned her to not become so caught up in what I termed, “…one more example of the media bastardizing a very real and human loss in the effort to make headlines and money…”

On Monday I zoomed in my criticism on the fact that while people may miss Whitney, no one’s loss could compare with that of her and Bobby Brown’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina.

During the drive to school on the morning of Valentine’s Day, our youngest daughter said,

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Of Daughters, Healing and Living with Intent…

The most difficult aspect of raising our middle daughter has been the clarity of self that her presence in my life has delivered.

From the moment I realized my water had broken–I had been lying in bed–to her entrance into the world 45 minutes later–I pushed only 3 times–to when the nurse handed her to me and I placed her to my breast she had mirrored aspects of myself long hidden and yet to make their existence known.

When arriving home 12 hours later and preparing to feed her, our middle daughter, who exudes

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Of Daughters, Actions and Self-Awareness…

“[D]aughters can model a great deal from a mother who is self-aware herself,” says Juanita Johnson in, Know Thyself First (Part 6 of Our Mothers, Ourselves: Mother-Daughter Relationships)

A storyteller and psychotherapist, who, along with her 27-year-old-daughter gives talks and workshops on the mother-daughter relationship, Johnson adds, “…I observe quite frequently that [a] mother knows so very little about her own self…[and instead] plac[es] way too much emphasis on how her daughter turns out rather than examining, ‘What [what she, the mother] do I know[s] about [her] self and how [she] feel[s] about [her]self…”

After reading this I immediately realized why I have felt such

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Of Love, Nurturing and Outliers…

In a culture where citizens and institutions emphasize work and accumulation of wealth, and where ascertaining the basic necessities of life cost a small fortune, all of us can easily descend into believing, and rather unconsciously, that lacking a trust fund in which to dip our fingers and secure these necessities, along with the various accoutrements society demands we provide our children–iphones, their own personal computer, ipads, ipods, televisions, designer shoes, etc–we lack what it takes to parent well.

And yet parents who possess tons of

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Of Health, Well-Being and A Mother’s Love…

A new study, Mother’s Love Can Prevent Illness in Middle Age, at Brandeis University now suggests that, “…a mother’s love expressed each day keeps the doctor way, most particularly in mid-life.”

When examining children from poverty-stricken situations, researchers learned, and not too surprisingly, that these children grow up to become adults who suffer from numerous chronic illnesses. And yet there are those children who, despite coming from poor backgrounds, experience good physical health and mental well-being.

Why?

Bucking what I would call

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Of Eldest Daughters, Mothers and Healing…

When two years ago, our eldest daughter asked to moved back home I was thrilled.

Having just earned a graduate degree and about to begin law school she expressed the desire to return to a more laid back lifestyle than she had experienced when a coed and then graduate student living in the city.

My excitement at having our first born home came not simply from 0ur enjoyment of having her around to share and do activities with, but with the additional idea that she truly liked being with her father and most specifically me, her mother.

The relationship I shared with my mother, now nearly 16 years deceased,

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