A woman asking for moral guidance for a friend whose wife has Alzheimer’s…
This is the woman who recently called the 700 Club, hosted by Pat Robertson, a husband for 57 years to his wife, Adelia.
“He says, he should be allowed to see other people because his wife as he knows her is gone...” the woman said of her friend.
To the surprise of many, Robertson, an ordained Baptist Minister for 50 years advised that the man in question “...needs to divorce his wife and start all over.
His[the man’s] wife is dead,” Robertson added, ending with, “Alzheimer’s is like a walking death. There is no one present in the body of anyone who has the disease.”
(Pat Robertson Makes Divorce Okay)
Like most responses of this caliber and relating to a sensitive issue, Alzheimer’s, and that has and affects more people each day, viewers chose sides, not the least of those who expressed regret and disappointment, if not outright disgust at Robertson’s suggestion.
And rightfully so.
Christianity teaches that marriage is to be endured…”…for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health…”
Abandon your wife, but make sure she’s well taken care of, in the material sense, says a man who has claimed a role of teacher of the faith and who has yielded a nice, hefty income from doing so on television.
In case Robertson has forgotten, we’re in the middle of an economic recession, wherein many suggest that health care costs have caused a major problem for many.
To be sure ascertaining health care does not sit at the root of our country’s recession, but it has left in the lurch–families of and patients involve long term illnesses that require a high level of care outside the hospital.
It can become a financial burden seeing to the needs of a chronically ill spouse, whatever the age, and for those on a fixed income as many elders find themselves, the burden can become tragic.
What is even more tragic is when those upon whose words many have come to depend as a spiritual compass, choose to speak if they too are afflicted as if with Alzheimer’s Disease, forgetting if not outright ignoring, or worse yet choose to describe an illness, in a way that many presently and having watched their loved ones with it, say is as far from the truth as day is from night.
You’re dead to me if I cannot reach you, if the person I came to know and love cannot respond. But Dr. Robert Stern of the Boston University School of Medicine says of those afflicted with Alzheimer’s Disease, “They may not remember their loved one’s name or what happened a couple of minutes ago, but the feelings, [their] ability to connect on some level are the last to go.”
Quite interestingly the segment, which I encourage you to watch, ends with a scene brought me to tears, an elderly man caressing his wife who has Alzheimer’s, and the man singing, “You’re nobody till somebody loves you.”
How beautiful. …And oh, so human.
I read that news article too. I think there are few black and white rules in the world. There are some but life is too nuanced to treat the Bible as a rule book. Perhaps Pat Robertson was actually stretching himself by allowing a divorce in this circumstance. My reaction is that while Robertson at least acknowledged that this is no black and white situation, his evaluation was outright horrible. A person with Alzheimer’s is still a person and many times they can sense things we don’t think they can sense. Every case is different I suppose and different spouses need different types of support while they are helping a spouse with Alzheimer’s. Maybe it’s OK in some cases to remarry. I think Robertson was wrong to give a blanket answer. Everyone needs to decide on their own what is best in each situation. The Holy Spirit will address that person. We don’t need a priest or pastor to intervene (although they may shed some light on the situation). We can talk to the Spirit directly.
Allison de Laveaga´s last blog post ..9/11, how quickly we forget
Clearly there are few concrete rules. And yet for Christians the sacred scriptures are clear, Christ said a wife and husband are to cleave to each other unto death. Christ even likens the relationship between a wife and husband to the promise God makes with the peoples of his Church. “I will never leave you.”
And yet people who pronounce themselves as Christians continually leave their spouses without simply saying, “I am a Christian. The scriptures speak against divorce. But this is what I want to do.”
No one can judge another for her or his actions. The act itself summons its own consequences. But in seeking to excuse one’s actions by redefining the rule smacks of hypocrisy. And hypocrisy implies that those of us looking on lack the ability to distinguish between those of us who know the truth and try each day to live with integrity of heart and soul, and those who ignore the rules of karma and in avoiding the pain and trials of life expect to reap the rewards of having done the right thing, which is always a life tried and remade through the fires of endurance but always with a clear conscience.
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