Of Laughter, Joy and What I Would Like to Say to My Mother …

by PI Photography & Fine Art – Delaware Photographer /  License this photo on Getty Images

 

What is one thing you needed to have said, or need to say to your mother?

I would like to have told my mother that I was doing the best I could.

All the times when she was complaining about me eating all the cookies I wish to have had the insight to say to her, “I need some sweetness in my life.”

I don’t know how much it would have helped.

My mother did not possess the insight to have seen that she was sucking all the joy out of my life.

Her life lacked joy.

Oh, there were times she smiled.

But I never really felt her having fun, or knowing what true fun was.

She also experienced her share of laughs.

But I doubt she understood the essence of humor.

In many ways I struggle with humor.

I am slow to understand jokes.

Although I have gotten better over the years, I still have to think and listen very carefully.

I comprehend okay when a comedian is addressing a specific subject.
My mind has received the cue to go to that topic.

I am ready.

But with good ole everyday humor such as many authors use during book readings to lighten the load of a serious topic, it takes me a minute to get into the mood.

I suppose I need permission from my mother to laugh.

That  is hard to ascertain since my mother died nearly 20 years ago in 1996.

I suppose I, a daughter, am like my mother in some ways.

I smile.

I experience my share of laughter.

But am I really happy?

At times I am.

At others, I struggle.

Do I really know joy?

I’m getting there.

Do you know joy?

How are you doing in the happiness department?

Are you experiencing your share of laughter and feeling the load  of life lift, it but for a moment?

Or are you afraid that if you laugh too hard you might cry?